8 Ways To Be The Father Who Stepped Up

To be honest with you there is no level of qualification or checklist things to do in order to get you prepared enough to be able to handle what is about to hit you as a stepfather. However, these considerations might help ease you into step-fatherhood, based on my step fatherhood experience, I am a Dad and a Stepfather who probably went through things you are in right now.

According to my experience and how i started my relationship with my step kid, I will begin this by saying the first thing you need to do is to have a discussion with your fiancée about shared values and dream family you are building together. for example: how it will look like raising your step kids? what kind of parenting style do you agree on? what kind of support she will need? and talk about things around parenting and make sure you and your wife are always on the same page.

  • What Are The Duties And Rights Of A Stepfather?

There is no special or different responsibilities attached to being a stepfather, basically you are just a father to someone who is not your biological kid, therefore; you have to be willing to accept and show the kid love, care and support every kid needs from a stepfather. Because you want that kid to look at you as the father figure, therefore you need to be supportive having the best interest of the kid at your heart, If the relationship is new you may kind of feel awkward around the kid, but if you have been in the relationship for a long time, then your responsibility is the same as any other parent.

  • Gaining Respect Of The Kid

There is no reason for a kid to disrespect a stepfather, when you feeling you have not gain their respect, check yourself and your relationship with them, it may probably be because the kid is still moaning about the loss of the biological father, or be jealousy of how you are take away his or her mother.

Give time and attention towards the kid, try to connect with her, but this does not mean you will spoil her and let her get whatever she wants, but the love and care is what always nurtures the attention, doing that you will probably gain the kid`s respect.

Treat her equal dignity as compare to your own kids, and remember, kids are always cooperative, sometimes kids don`t behave in the way that is desirable but that does not mean they don`t respect you, it is probably they don`t know that behaviour as unacceptable for the fact that they have been raised by a single mother, who`s parenting style is based on intimacy.

  • Being Able To Discipline A Kid That Needs It

Discipline is necessary for a kid for their happiness and healthy development, without discipline, a kid would lack a great tool necessary to navigate life challenges, such as respect, patient and cooperative. It is an important point to discuss with your partner to how you as a stepfather should participate in your step-kid`s discipline, in an appropriate way.

  • Feeling Free To Love The Kids.

You don`t need to feel guilt towards your step-kids, even though most stepfathers finds it hard to love their step-kids equally to their biological ones, all you need to know she needs that fatherly figure in her life, someone to stand up by her side and give her support, love, time and undivided attentions, if you can achieve that you will likely to be the most significant influence in her lives, just by being close her you can surely help her to feel secure and built her confidence.

Kids`s hearts are such when they are physically or emotionally hurt, they feel their feelings fully like it is the end of the word, but after crying for few moments they completely move on and forget about everything, without holding a grudge. Core parenting in terms of discipline always works better.

  • Not Feeling In Competition With The Ex (Biological Parent)

Just like you cannot fix what is wrong in your partner`s past, likewise you should not compete with your partner`s Ex in the aspect of talking care of the kids, fighting for kids love, forcing yourself to become their fatherly figure. Always be the person you are, focus on building a good relationship with the your step-kid, eventually the love between you and the kids will grow peacefully.

  • Don’t Make Your Partner To Feel Like That She Is In The Middle Of Constantly Having To Choose Between Your Wish Against Her Kid`s Wish

Putting your partner in such situations will harm your relationship, remember a toxic relationship is all about disrespectful, controlling and abusive behaviour towards your partner, a woman with a kid may love you but she cannot love you more than her own kid. Forcing someone to make decision would always turn ugly.

  • Some Kids Feel Like Loving The Stepparent Is A Betrayal Of The Biological Parent

Its normal for a kid to behave or think that certain ways, as long as you have not gained their trust and love, the key issue to overturn this is being compassionate and loving toward your step-kid, they will grow to love you as a stepparent as much as they love biological parent.

  • Recognizing That The Kid`s Best Interest Must Always Come First

Having your step-kid`s interest at heart is the foundation of your relationship, it does not necessarily mean love, good love is built with good intentions towards someone, when you recognize that no matter how rough the going gets eventually, your blended family would leave in peace and harmony.

According to my experience and how i started my relationship with my step kid, I will begin this by saying the first thing you need to do is to have a discussion with your fiancée about shared values and dream family you are building together. for example: how it will look like raising your step kids? what kind of parenting style do you agree on? what kind of support she will need? and talk about things around parenting and make sure you and your wife are always on the same page.

  • What Are The Duties And Rights Of A Stepfather?

There is no special or different responsibilities attached to being a stepfather, basically you are just a father to someone who is not your biological kid, therefore; you have to be willing to accept and show the kid love, care and support every kid needs from a stepfather. Because you want that kid to look at you as the father figure, therefore you need to be supportive having the best interest of the kid at your heart, If the relationship is new you may kind of feel awkward around the kid, but if you have been in the relationship for a long time, then your responsibility is the same as any other parent.

  • Gaining Respect Of The Kid

There is no reason for a kid to disrespect a stepfather, when you feeling you have not gain their respect, check yourself and your relationship with them, it may probably be because the kid is still moaning about the loss of the biological father, or be jealousy of how you are take away his or her mother.

Give time and attention towards the kid, try to connect with her, but this does not mean you will spoil her and let her get whatever she wants, but the love and care is what always nurtures the attention, doing that you will probably gain the kid`s respect.

Treat her equal dignity as compare to your own kids, and remember, kids are always cooperative, sometimes kids don`t behave in the way that is desirable but that does not mean they don`t respect you, it is probably they don`t know that behaviour as unacceptable for the fact that they have been raised by a single mother, who`s parenting style is based on intimacy.

  • Being Able To Discipline A Kid That Needs It

Discipline is necessary for a kid for their happiness and healthy development, without discipline, a kid would lack a great tool necessary to navigate life challenges, such as respect, patient and cooperative. It is an important point to discuss with your partner to how you as a stepfather should participate in your step-kid`s discipline, in an appropriate way.

  • Feeling Free To Love The Kids.

You don`t need to feel guilt towards your step-kids, even though most stepfathers finds it hard to love their step-kids equally to their biological ones, all you need to know she needs that fatherly figure in her life, someone to stand up by her side and give her support, love, time and undivided attentions, if you can achieve that you will likely to be the most significant influence in her lives, just by being close her you can surely help her to feel secure and built her confidence.

Kids`s hearts are such when they are physically or emotionally hurt, they feel their feelings fully like it is the end of the word, but after crying for few moments they completely move on and forget about everything, without holding a grudge. Core parenting in terms of discipline always works better.

  • Not Feeling In Competition With The Ex (Biological Parent)

Just like you cannot fix what is wrong in your partner`s past, likewise you should not compete with your partner`s Ex in the aspect of talking care of the kids, fighting for kids love, forcing yourself to become their fatherly figure. Always be the person you are, focus on building a good relationship with the your step-kid, eventually the love between you and the kids will grow peacefully.

  • Don’t Make Your Partner To Feel Like That She Is In The Middle Of Constantly Having To Choose Between Your Wish Against Her Kid`s Wish

Putting your partner in such situations will harm your relationship, remember a toxic relationship is all about disrespectful, controlling and abusive behaviour towards your partner, a woman with a kid may love you but she cannot love you more than her own kid. Forcing someone to make decision would always turn ugly.

  • Some Kids Feel Like Loving The Stepparent Is A Betrayal Of The Biological Parent

Its normal for a kid to behave or think that certain ways, as long as you have not gained their trust and love, the key issue to overturn this is being compassionate and loving toward your step-kid, they will grow to love you as a stepparent as much as they love biological parent.

  • Recognizing That The Kid`s Best Interest Must Always Come First

Having your step-kid`s interest at heart is the foundation of your relationship, it does not necessarily mean love, good love is built with good intentions towards someone, when you recognize that no matter how rough the going gets eventually, your blended family would leave in peace and harmony.