Parenting could be difficult, because you are required to give in lots of your own happiness and needs in favor of you kid`s. As a parent you need to realize that it is very easier to raise a strong kid than to repair a broken men. so, I will tell you 21 common mistakes many parents make. You Must avoid them to help your kids become better individuals.
Doing your kid`s homework
Doing your kid`s home work for them will literally make them to score lower in their education. Kids who`s parent constantly help them with their homework, don`t perform better than kids who does not receive such help.
If you do that you need to stop right away; because your kids will become dependent on your intelligence and that will lead to them to score lower.
If your kids are slow learners; or they score lower grades, do not punish them for that. Most of the parents punish their kids for bad grades, and that does not help; you need support your kids do do better by helping them to become good readers etc. And have dialogue them about school, life and future plans. they will eventually do better.
Protecting kids from failure
Fear of failure has its devastating effect on nowadays kids. Protecting them from failure, is not the key to make them successful in life; We are living in a culture of “not good enough,” therefore parents often try to protect their kids from failure, and that protective act is very damaging.
In order help them become successful, you have to let them learn from their failures to have the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
Putting gadgets in bedrooms
Putting gadgets in bedrooms of your kids will definitely have harmful effects on them; they will be deprived from sleep to some point it will affect their grades.
This are common practices among nowadays parents; for shake of kids` happiness if you installed electronic gadgets (TV sets, X boxes, Play Stations) in their kid’s bedroom; these things will make them to lack focus and concentration in their daily life activities.
Above all they will have no self-control or discipline whatsoever. How can you disregard the violence in those computer or video games they play, pretending it won`t affect them. It will surely affect them at some point. Put away the gaming consoles and any distractions to gobble up discipline and stop the temptation.
Not setting up a good example
Kids take their parents as their greatest role model. They observe and learn a lot from parents. So the life that you want your kids to live; its is your responsibility to model that for them. Avoid bad or negative behavior in front of your them at all cost. Because If you tell a blue lie; so will they. If you give to charity or volunteer, your kids will also give selflessly.
Strictly dies control
If you observe kids eating habits; you may see that most parents do not control of their kids eating habits; especially when they are away. Kids always want something that they cannot have, therefore too much of die control of what they eat at home could make them to eat unhealthy foods outside.
Food items like (Fast food, soft-drinks, high fat diet etc,) those types of food may could cause severe weight problems for them.
Being your kid`s friend instead of their parent
If you become a friend instead of a parent; especially during teenage years, you won`t have an authority to give command, which can cause them to make some dangerous choices; a good parent must abide being a parents; and not a friend during teenage years and that is very important to do.
An aged kids at-times are tempted to experiment alcohol or tobacco; even drugs (which is the major cause of death amongst teenagers), at that stage it’s necessary for them to have an authority figure and not a friend.
Making a life changing decisions for them
For instant. when it comes to their education; parents should let their kids to make their own decisions on certain matters; like choosing college major. If you make that decision for them or even forced them to something they dislike in this regard, they will not be satisfied with their education. However; communicating your opinion and experience is very fine; but the decision making should be left to them.
Taking their intelligence for maturity
Generally we often used to measure Intelligence as maturity, and as a result, this misleads many parents into believing their kids are now mature enough to face the world; when in the realty they are not. If your kids are talented, don’t mistake this talents affect their life.
But instead observe other kids of the same age to determine their maturity. And teach them about being responsible for their behavior and actions. That is Maturity. A parents should not mistake intelligence and with maturity.
A physical punishing is a ancient way of expressing your emotions and it can result kids to disguise their feelings. kids have an imperfect ability to express emotions as a result they normally act out. So rather help them on how to express and control these emotions, make them to understand their negativity.
It really breaks my heart to see that many kids are growing up with parents that have little knowledge about how they hand their kids; they believe in unnecessary punishment and yelling just to express their emotions; but not knowing they are literally setting up those kids to have self-esteem issues in the future. And the pain it causes them can last a lifetime.
Forcing Your kids to make apologies
It is abnormal to believe that young kids automatically know what they have done and the reason they have to apologize. If you force kids to make apologies that does not really teach them social skill. And that may delay their natural assumption of apologizing.
Rather, you should make apologies on behalf of your kids and lead them by example. So they will apologize whenever they have done the something wrong, through this they will also learn social skills.
Protecting your kids from risk or hams
Protecting your kids away from harm could be dangerous. for example; If kids do not learn how to use a knife properly; how can they be expected to use one safely later in life. The protective world that kids live in stops them from developing safety skills and may affect them later in life.
Physically abused kids are at greater risk of developing mental and personality disorders; they may go on to develop depression or anxiety; this could easily force them to use drugs or even become addicted to alcohol.” However; kids that are not physically punished, slapped or hit; rarely develop anxiety or go into depression or even substance abuse.
Remember that many of the adults with mental disorders today is caused by physical punishment during their childhood; it always has devastating and lasting effects on a kids.
Telling your kids to stop crying
Young kids are unable to express their feelings other than crying. So telling them not to cry may prevent them from developing ways to express their emotion. If you tell kids “don’t cry” that does not make them feel any better and moreover it can make them to believe that their feelings are not valid and it is not Good for kids to be scared or sad.
Instead of dismissing their emotion, you should admin it and support them get through it by learning how to express it in words.
Too many action heroes and dolls in your kid`s play-box
When kids plays with only action heroes and dolls makes them less creative. And that can affect their career paths. Superman, Spider-Man and Iron Man are not going to be helpful to shape a career; so as Barbie; instead parents should also consider adding more diversities, like books, puzzles, music, etc. to their play-box.
Telling boys to man up
Despite being an important factor in kids` development for both boys and girls, telling them to man up could affect their mental health. Many psychologists research shows that open emotions, empathy and caring are mostly feminized.
These affects many boys and cause them to bottle up all of these believes, and at times, it makes them to resort to violence. Sadly, those types of people with mental health challenges today literally do not seek help, because they believe seeking help would damage their manhood.
Protecting your kids from sadness
Parents hate to see their kids to feel bad, as a result they do their best to make everything better. However; protecting your kids from grief and sadness can obstruct their emotional growth. instead allow them to learn to master their emotions. Do not prevent them from that vital experience.
Forcing your kids to eat beyond their appetite
Forcing someone to eat beyond their appetite may cause serious weight problems. Also it could cause them to have a lasting scorn for that particular foods, which is the last thing you need.
Forbidding your kids from doing something
I am sure you heard the story about the forbidden fruit, certainly telling your kids not to do something only makes them want to do that thing more. Instead you should assess what you do not like about that thing you are trying for forbid them from. Unless it is a serious threat, you should start a dialogue about it rather than outright forbidden them from doing it.
Using only technology as entertainment
Relaying on technology for your kids to defeat boredom may Cause “electronic addiction” the threat is not only that; but It may also affect them later in life, kids who suffer from electronic addiction are not able to defeat boredom on their own without them.
However exposing your kids to technology is important in the modern world, but you need to set a limit for them.
praising your kid`s skill rather than hard work
You should praise your kids` hard work than their skill, for example you may say “you always try your best at tennis.” than “you are really good at tennis” because praising your kids` athleticism or smartness often can make them not to try new things, fearing they may not do well with that and if that happens you may no longer consider them as smart or athletic.
Asking your kid to leave you alone
When you regularly ask your kids not to bother you; can hint them that you always feel that way. They will eventually think that there is no use of talking to you.
If you do this when your kids are young; they may less likely to tell you anything when they are older. Don’t be afraid to take a break and listen to what your kids has to say, but never be too busy for them.
Parents always want to get a quick answers to their kids` problems but most of the time the answers to their problems actually lies with them.
All you need to do is willingness to change your behavior towards them; and make their future rewarding. Doing this you will become a parent and a friend to your own kids.
My name is Lamin Darboe, i am an admin of aviralblog.com, I started this blog to motivate and inspire people, using my life experience and knowledge to help to offer solutions to personal issues, family and parenting problems, to bring out the best in them. The articles on this website are based on life experience and personal educational researches. Read more about me