If you ask parents how do you want your child to become when grown up, they will all give you the same answer “i want my child to become successful person in the society” part of that success means having a good manners; that is where most parents have challenges.
Most parent do make this mistake to say “he is just a kid, he will stop as he grows up” that type of philosophy will simply spoil your child; in fact the best time to start teaching your child good manners is right from toddler.
Those are the periods when children are starting to learn to understand their environment and people around them, they have the capability of observing and copying behaviors, so why don`t you start correcting some of your child’s behavior, plus it is an indication that shows your child is raised well.
Why should you teach your child a good manners?
Good manners is what sets out a good children from bad ones, and bad behavior can cause a child to become radical; having no value or respect for the people around him, and can easily fall into crimes.
Those are the types of people who develop hatred towards others for no reason; because they believe everyone hates them; and they tend to blame people for their failure. I bet this is not the type of life you want your child to life.
What are the importance of good manners?
Teaching good manners to your child is as important as early education; the way you strive for your child`s education; you should strive the same way to teach your child a good manners; unfortunately there are no school out there that can help you teach your child good manners and etiquette.
But this is rather a home train issue; all you need to know as parent is the more you strive to teach your child good manners; the more you are helping teacher in school to better help him with that quality education he needs.
How having good manners can benefits someone?
There are lots of benefits to teach good manners to your child, I know for that fact that every parent loves to hear other parents and teachers to tell you how good your child is; having a good manner means you understand appropriate behavior; being polite, it enable a child to become socially attentive as he grows up.
Well mannered children are handed better opportunities even in school; they usually have good rapour with their teachers, that could help in their academic performance too, its also one of the qualities of a good leader; if your child behaves well in school, he could be easily pick out for some leadership position; Like head of students.
What am i doing wrong in teaching my child good manner?
It to good to be aware of the things you are doing wrong in raising a good mannered child; nowadays many repents think that if you make your kids happy by give them whatever they ask for, you are raising a good child.
Not exactly, there is a difference between meeting your child’s need and spoiling him, Meeting your child`s need is your responsibility to help you child get what is necessary and can help him in grow up to become a better person.
But spoiling your child be can categorized into many forms; emotionally, financially and materially. To spoil a child emotionally is let him get away with unacceptable behaviors, because you don`t want him to become sad, or cry by correcting his behavior, that way you are allowing him to think that sort of behavior is acceptable.
To spoil your child financially is given him too much money more than he may needs; just because you love him so much does not mean you need to give him money for no reasons; doing that can cause someone to develop unnecessary spending habits, and can also cause him bankruptcy later in life.
To spoil a child materially or materialistically is exposing him too early to gadgets, accessories like expensive mobile; expensive watches etc.
If you do that because all you want is to see him smile and happy and be sported out among other children; that will only make him lazy; and he would depend on your financial ability; the worst part is when he could no longer afford those things; he might resort to crimes in order to get them.
What good manners should a child be taught?
This depends on the society in which you life in; every society have different etiquette and moral values; however there are some things that are common to every part of the world, i will tell you 10 good manners i consider very important to teach your child with.
Teach your child to be polite; to be aware of peoples feeling and respecting them, generally we don`t quickly notice someone`s politeness but we usually notice their rudeness or inappropriate behavior, when your child is polite he will be able to build and maintain relationships with others.
Saying Thank you
Teach him to say thank you when giving something, this is a powerful complementary word that goes a long way; by saying thank you, shows you appreciate and manifest your gratitude towards the person who did good to you, but it is also a sign of respect, and indication that you do not take the person for granted, so, teaching your child to know this value is very important.
Not interrupt adults
Interrupting someone can sometimes be categorized as rudeness; children normally interrupt adults because they are bored with their conversation in which they are not involved, and its also because they do not understand social graces.
So they may ask you something while you are talking to some adults about adult`s topics. You need to let him understand not to interrupt when others are talking. Teach him to say ” Excuse Me” that is the polite way to get someone`s attention to ask what he wants.
Asking for permission
To ask for permission before doing something is a form of politeness. Whether it is an idea you want to execute or you want to use someone else`s belongings, usually to ask for permission for something can safe you a lots of headache later on, even if you already know what you want to do, its always great to ask for permission, you might get guidance and support of what you tend to do.
Not to comment on people`s physical appearance
Commenting on someone else`s physical status is a very rude attitude, their body is their business alone, unfortunately, many people are not raised to recognize that, because our society puts so much value on appearance.
Why do you comment on someone`s physical appearance; when it does not concern you in the first place. This is a common attitude in most adults unfortunately. So as a parent you should avoid doing this and teach your child not to do it as well.
If asked “you how you are doing” to reply and Ask back
It is a protocol of a tradition when someone ask you “how are you doing” to reply them and also ask how they are doing, its not impolite not to ask per say; but it depends on you the person who asked; some people may take it as you are not caring; or not want to push the conversation further.
These are all things people look at when they start such conversation with you. so it is important to teach your child to know these traditional protocol.
Always to knock on closed doors
A closed doors certainly need to be knocked on before entering; it warrant a respects, this is a very important manner to teach your child to know that he should always knock on closed doors asking permission to enter; and be patient to see if you someone would answer.
Especially if it is someone`s house or the house of his friends he normally visits, let him know visitors should always knock and if no answer, they should just leave and come back later, or shoot a note with request to connect. Let him understand that it is very rude to enter in a room of someone without knocking or notice.
Teach them phone call etiquette
Its important to introduce yourself when you make a call; either you call a friends house and their parents or someone else happen to pick the call, before asking for the person you called, it is best to introduce yourself, unfortunately, when it comes to on call introductions, your entire first impression falls on your voice tune and the words you say.
So teach your child to always be polite on phone; and create a presentation that is clear to covey a friendly manner. but it is always important to teach how they should answer calls at home especially if you are not around.
Never to Use bad language in front of adults
In this age of technology; it can be pretty hard to protect your child not to learn bad or strong language; as he gets older, no matter how hard you try to apply parental control, children still learn these kind of language one way or the other, either from online videos, or online comments, or news about some random twitter posts; it is really hard to avoid.
But as a parent take an advantage to explain to your child how social media or news channels get attention for profanity. when your child is around 5 years old its a great time to help him understand that there are certain language that is not OK to say in front of adults.
Don’t call people mean names
Its very unfortunate; in most of elementary schools students always complain about being bullied and 75% of those includes name- calling, and this is something can slowly affect child`s self esteem. its just bad to call people mean names, and the consequences are very high as not everyone will take it that lightly. this is something your child should know.
How should I teach these manners to my child?
Well.. the fact is as a parent you need to have these manners in the first place before you can teach your child; there is a saying “you cannot give what you don`t have” the same applies to raising a child with a good manners. you are your child`s hero; role model, he will look at your behavior and act the same way. So make sure you behave well in front of your child; speak politely, treat people nicely etc.
He will learn everything that you do; but if in case you see a new behavior in him; correct him on that, keep your values and morals no matter what. you will definitely raised a happy and good mannered child.
My name is Lamin Darboe, i am an admin of aviralblog.com, I started this blog to motivate and inspire people, using my life experience and knowledge to help to offer solutions to personal issues, family and parenting problems, to bring out the best in them. The articles on this website are based on life experience and personal educational researches. Read more about me