When a relationship is over; most people feel so broken, frustrated and sad, you feel empty; lost at the same time confused, at that very point you need someone to conform you or do something to take off your mind from the stress; sometimes crying your eyes out is normal thing to do to ease your emotions.
It is absolutely normal for relationships to end; you are not the first and you won`t be last to go through breakups; sometimes you feel like spending some time a lone in front of your TV watching movies or listening to sad; not worrying about yourself and how you look.
In that situation; you need to do things that makes you happy; give yourself a break; and no matter what you do; Do not just jump into another relationship quickly only to make your Ex jealous. Trust me jumping into another relationship will do more harms than good for you and your new partner. Take your time learn from your experience and then move on.
Dust yourself up
Don`t blame yourself thinking everything was your fault; there is a saying “it takes two to tango”, that means both of you are equally responsible.
So, just acknowledge your mistake either your behavior or attitude and learn from them. After a week or two; you will begin to feel better; take care yourself, dress up and put on your best cloths; apply makeups and look beautiful if that is what makes you happy.
Don’t be weak
Most people are weak to handle breakups; it can lead them to depression, as a result, they tend to put on destructive behavior by smoking, drinking and even drugs, they believe these things will help them overcome their pain.
So don`t be that weak in recovering from breakup, all you need to do is engage yourself with close friends, hang out them, or spend your time doing something you love; like writing, painting or visit your favorite place, go to movie theaters or even gym. The idea is to make sure you don`t let yourself down and broken completely.
If those did not help and you still feel so broken, you can`t help it; then you need to seek help from either a therapist, a friend or even a family member. We all need support at this particular times, when a relationship ended, its like the building you strive to build with many years of effort has just been destroyed.
So, talk out your emotions to a therapist, in this case therapist support will be more handy, they will help you get through this difficult times, and make you become the stronger person you where before.
Avoid Social updates
Most people tend to post updates about their status when going through breakups; thinking their ex is watching; so, they post how happy they are or how depressed they are, staking their ex. Trust me that is only going to cause you more paint; you need to be strong enough to cut all communication between you and your ex.
Do not post updates on your social accounts about how happy or sad you are; do not send him email, texts or call him; it could be maybe they are also going through the exact the same things.
Put away things that reminds you of your ex
It is always a good idea to cleanse your house or room by removing anything that reminds you of your ex, either a photo album, pictures on your phone; books, letter and even bracelet etc.
Remove everything and park them in a box; take them to somewhere so you do not get to see them often, by doing this will certainly help you to easily forget about him and your pain; but if you still want to remember good memories, only do that when time is right. Do not do this too soon. It will remind you of your pain; that can make you feel depressed again.
Learn to forgive
To be able to truly move on; you have to forgive and forget, you might be angry at your ex or at yourself for the damage that caused your relationship, however learn to forgive so that you can truly move on, because if you do not forgive you will be trapped in your own pain and prison.
There is a saying “Forgive but don`t forget” that might be true but what I personally believed is when you forgive and forget; you will be free to move on peacefully.
Try New Things
Start a new life, open a new chapter, do things you always wanted to but did not have time to do them before, get out of your comfort zone, hang out to new places, do new activities but do not go to place you used to hang out with your ex, chances are you may meet there and that is the last thing you wanted.
Meet your family member and friends especially if they are preoccupied with your relationship status, get lost in new things; develop yourself.
Enjoy yourself being single
Like I said it before do not just jump in to another relationship too soon even if it knocks on your door, instead take your time to learn to love yourself, remember many people in relationship would want to be single for at least some time, so do things for yourself once you have the time to.
Enjoy being single; trust me during these moments you will learn a lot about yourself that will help you to set your goal on your next relationship.
Calm your nerves
Calm your nerves and be ready to move on, if you can travel to some places you always love to visit either by yourself or with friends, meet new people from different cultures, get some peace of mind, make new friends and talk about some random things, spend your trip well and try to enjoy every bit of it.
When you see yourself having the ability to have that much fun without being reminded of your past or pain then you are ready to move no.
Befriend your ex
This part is tricky because most people hate it to even see their ex much more to become friends; this entirely depends on how you break up, if you breakup with respect, dignity and maturity, maybe you can become friends, but remember this person knew you better than anyone else, so therefore won`t you want to have them in your life?
Another point is; you cannot completely erase him from your life especially if there is a kid between you too, it will better to keep them at some levels, make sure the communication remains not constantly but time to time when the need arises just for the shake of the kids.
But you have to mindful so it the level of communication won`t hurt your current relationship. So is wise to set boundaries since you made up your mind to move on.
How long does it take to get over a failed relationship?
Relationship is a complex thing, since it involve love and love is something that is attached to your emotional status about the person you were with. It is not an easy thing to quickly recover from a fail relationship, especially if you have been with the person for some years.
However according researches it may take someone only 11 weeks to feel better but up to 18 months to heal emotionally.
This sometimes depend on the level of connection you had with the person; or how strong you can handle such feelings.
Every year so many people commit suicide for the shake of love. It is not mainly because they are weak but because they cannot image their lives without that person.
So let therapist help you, it can make the process of healing and forgetting so easy. Always remember everything in life happens for a reason; and always remember if one doors shuts up another one opens up. Have faith and take care of yourself.
My name is Lamin Darboe, i am an admin of aviralblog.com, I started this blog to motivate and inspire people, using my life experience and knowledge to help to offer solutions to personal issues, family and parenting problems, to bring out the best in them. The articles on this website are based on life experience and personal educational researches. Read more about me