As you may know about my past and how i grew up, there were certain things that I fully understood, when i became a father of 1 boy and 2 lovely girls; i always promised myself that I will do my best to give them that fatherhood support.
That is essential for their developing both mentally and physically, for that 5 years it has been a none stop marathon and adventure at times I feel like it is going by so slow and other times I blink and days, weeks and months fly by.
What i understand through my fathering experience is children change everything, My life was never the same when i had my first son 5 years ago; beginning to cope with the new normality.
And things still keep changing when i also had my first daughter and still shifting some things i expected, others were not; but all these changes happened at least in my experience.
The first question I had was now that I am a father; what must I do to make my kids to prepare them for the challenges of this life, at the same time making them feel loved and special. I know still I have some personal behaviors I need to improve myself upon; because you cannot teach your children with something you don`t have yourself.
What fatherhood responsible changed for me
When you see yourself being responsible for the life of another small human being, the moment it happened; that moment the dynamics of your relationship between you and your wife will changed, but this is not necessarily a bad change; but rather in a positive way.
To my case it made our relationship to grown stronger and closer, helping each other on parenting these wonderful blessings (children), and sharing our experience, the sleepless nights; constant attention, tiresome days and emotional fatigues.
Sometimes the stress of parenthood drives couples apart; but fortunately for me it was the total opposite because me and my wife has been each other`s rock to learn on, we shared every milestones of our children`s development; with lots of memories, before they even reached the kindergarten stage.
From my experience i learned that children increase the weight of the relationship; this has helped me and my wife to develop deep understanding towards each other.
And i believe children should be a good reason to straighten marriages and relationships; to put away the misunderstanding if there is any; this also important for your children to see when grown up that they are part of a peaceful and loving family.
It is essential for their growth and development. It was just unfortunate for me i did not get to experience this when i was a child but at the same time thankful; that i got my wife`s support to see that my children are growing up in a peaceful environment. From all this experience we created, it has been a vital part of the foundation of our relationship.
My parenting experience has also help me to change my priorities; right from the start of the pregnancy, i am able to prioritize my financial expenses; i saw myself changing a lot from buying fancy brand name and gadgets to planning and preparing how i am going to properly care for my family especially the expecting new baby.
And this has also double my efforts in my daily work routines and business activities; i see myself always having the zeal to become financially stable enough to be able to support my family.
I grew up from a poor family; so during my teenage years i have develop a strong desire of owning fancy cloths and gadgets i always wanted to feel and have what my friends and other teenagers had.
When I started working; almost half of my salaries goes to buying these kind things; but all had changed when my wife got pregnant with my first son.
No matter how i want to spend; i always wanted to save more, and i see that i became fine with not always buying fancy clothes; and i become totally fine with keeping clothes i had for a little longer, we cook more often than going to the restaurant; in that way we eat healthier and cheaper.
Before my first son was burn, i always see myself as an ordinary guy capable of extraordinary things, that was my perception and understanding of life.
But the moment my son came in my life; that kind of perception was change; it has pushed me to be more extraordinary and live for my family, i don`t live for myself anymore but instead i am now living for my children; and become a role model to shape up the life i wanted to them to live in when grown up.
My perception of life
Before my first son was burn, i always see myself as an ordinary guy capable of extraordinary things, that was my perception and understanding of life; but the moment my son came in my life; that kind of perception was changed.
It has pushed me to be more extraordinary and live for my family, i don`t live for myself anymore but instead i am now living for my children; and become a role model to shape up the life i wanted to them to live in when grown up.
Now i am not that ordinary guy anymore but an extraordinary who wanted his children to see him as someone virtuous, brave, caring and loving. I wanted my relationship with their mother to teach them how relationship should be run; by setting an example for them.
My parenting experience has made me to push myself to be the best version of myself; having the willingness and flexibility to become mentally, physically and emotionally strong for everything life throw at me, and for the fact that my wife and children needed me to be that person.
It was terrifying experience at the same time loving. Despite all my challenges in life; no matter; what i am able to provide and create the peaceful environment they need; this experience helped me a lot as a person to become someone i always wanted to be.
My name is Lamin Darboe, i am an admin of aviralblog.com, I started this blog to motivate and inspire people, using my life experience and knowledge to help to offer solutions to personal issues, family and parenting problems, to bring out the best in them. The articles on this website are based on life experience and personal educational researches. Read more about me